HAPPY GRADUATION GIRLS! 

Happy graduation to Hannah and ShengYi! You girls had been such a blessing to me, and I thanx God for your! So proud of your! As your move on to another phase of life, I pray that you will be able to discover more of God's amazing plan for you and keep believing in Him! 

Another Phase of Life Ended

3 years full of ups and downs. Memories that will be remembered forever. Appreciated and grateful for every single one of your that had a part to play. Be it bad or good, I am thankful for everything.  

Looking back, I have never regretted. Even though, things may not be going well for the past 3 years, I am grateful for every single relationship that I had made. The friends, the fun, the laughter, the cries, the hurt and every other thing was something that had mold me and shape me to become stronger, I really treasured my years in Ngee Ann that I had spent with every single one of your. No matter who you are, close or not close, enemy or friends, I am thankful for everyone of your! Thank for everything be it good or bad. 

Lastly, thank you Lord for bringing me through this tough 3 years. You are the best gift that I could ever receive! Without You, I am indeed nothing. 

Moving on to another phase of life. Looking forward to all the challenges ahead. =)

HAPPY BLESSED 19th BIRTHDAY MY BOY

No matter what happen you will always always be my dear little brother. The one whom I love. I believe that  God has something awesome plan for you this year. May you be able to accept this awesome God into you life and experience the unchanging love He had towards you soon. Looking forward for that day to come. I love you. 

What's Wrong?

Every single day we are all caught up in the things in our life. Slowly, the 'thing' have become and replace human. No longer do we seek and build relationship, build life together, the 'thing' have replaced all of it slowly day by day. Each and single one of us are all busy with our own thing, who would have the heart to care about the others... Often, it end up in more and more broken relationship and people hurt. Some get so use to it that they didn't think there is s need for healing, thus making us to turn ourselves away from our healer, our savior, away from God.

I feel the desperate help of the lost soul and those who have turn away from God out there. It just does not feel comfortable. Human on the streets, in school, workplace, at home are all wearing a mask to live life. Living as through they were ok on the outside but deep inside them they are just so filled with sorrows. It is the world that make us think that that was actually 'ok'! BUT the truth is that was actually NOT ok!

Dear Father,
I pray that you would just talk some senses to all of the human that you had created! Tell them to really stop living a life that seems ok. Correct each and single wrongs with your truth. I don understand why do all these have to happen, why are things starting to be more valued, more important than relationship and other human but I know that you are definitely in control of it. Open the flood gates of heaven and wash away all the worldly thoughts that each and every one have. Cleanse all our mind and heart and make it as pure as gold. The world is simply in a chaos. Come and take control of everything. Let us use of heart to think instead of using our mind so that we won try to logic things out.  I feel helpless. I know that something is just not right, it is simply just hurting. But I have no idea on what can we do. Guide us and tell us what we can do to really make an impact of this chaos world. I pray all this in Jesus name, AMEN!

Thankful, Grateful & Blessed 

Yesterday is the 20th year of my life on Earth. Never had I think that I am worthily of anything. But yesterday was the day where all the truth started to relive itself one by one, one after another. 

Service was awesome when Brother John started to tell us to GET REAL and start to put down all the baggages that we had all been carrying for the past few years. I feel like it was really something that I need to hear. Often I don like it when others are fake wif me but the truth is I am fake to them too, Wearing a mask that everything seems ok where ever i go. Time to take off the mask and make this 20th year on earth a special one! GET REAL! 

"Everything is worthless when compared to the infinite value of knowing Jesus Chirst." This is so true, without Him, I won be who I am today, 

I'm touched, grateful and speechless for all those small little things that Revive 1 and 3 had done to plan my birthday surprise. It was something that I did not expect, but all these small small things were the ones that I will remember so dearly. I say I am worthless, useless, not capable of anything but God say I am not! My Lifegroup show me that I am definitely worth all these!

It was only when I start to take off the mask of mine then to realize that I am so so vulnerable. Without God and those awesome people God have placed in my life, I won have the strength to even hang on till these day. cannot imagine the life I may be living now without God, without them. No words could expressed how much I am grateful and thankful towards all of them. Feel blessed beyond words.

Now, I am not afraid of falling. Cos I know that no matter what might happen in the future, I have a group of awesome people that is always ready to catch me, support me, and most importantly, I have a faithful and awesome Father! 

All the past hurt, scars had slowly been heal by Him and it was in Him that I found rest! 

THANK GOD FOR ALL THESE PEOPLE AND FOR EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE! =')

Living in darkness...

When to Dialogue In The Dark in Ngee Ann today. I had always known that this place exist but I don really know what does it do or rather what is the purpose of my school to have it. Today, I finally got an answer to my doubt. Oh my! The whole journey in there is simply breathtaking! 

We were all being guild into a room of complete darkness! There was no light at all. No matter how hard you tried to look at the surroundings around you, you will see nothing! Literally nothing at all. Haha! Living in complete darkness in the room for a full 30 mins is so not funny at all! In a room that there is complete darkness, it will instill so much fear in you. Is just a feeling that you had lose one of your sense and the only thing you can do is to only relied on your other senses. We were each given a stick which is the only thing that we can find our security on only. Through the whole journey, we are being guild by a lady called Serene. She herself is blind. I feel that it was so amazing that she is able to guild us through the whole journey, explaining to us in detail how life being blind is like and how to go about walking and feeling things in the darkness.

It was indeed a whole new experience for me, feeling the wall as I made my way around the room, trying to cross the road by just by listening to the sound of the traffic light. Going to the market feeling all those different spices, fruits and vegetables, guessing the brand of a car and the license number just by feeling it. Buying food and eating it, the only different is just that all these was all being done in complete darkness. It may seems fun to be doing all these, experience how it is to live life in darkness, but if I had to live life forever like that, it is not fun anymore! 

The whole journey made me become so appreciative and grateful that I am not gonna live life in darkness forever. It somehow make me become more determined to help all those who are living in darkness in their own life, They may seems physically well on the outside but inside them they are actually 'blind'. I wanna be the one who is able to bring light into their life. Lead them out of darkness and live in light once again. 

The last thing I remember during the whole journey of darkness is the warm hand of Serene. Whenever, I feel so frantic, so scared, there's seem to be nothing in front of me that I could get hold of, there will be these hand and voice that never fail to comfort me in the dark room. Leading and guiding me through and get out of it. Am amazed by how a blind lady could be able to lead me out of the dark room.

God work the same way too! In darkness of my life, He will also be the one who never fails and lead me out of it, Grateful. 

RESOLUTION

A year had just passed and it is once again a brand new year. In 2012, I really do had so much to be thankful and grateful of. The best decision I had ever made was to really come to be in a relationship with God. A God that is so awesome and never fails. Shall start this year that God had create right with Him. I don't know what are the challenges, the problems that I will be facing in this new phase of my life. But I am just gonna keep believing, keep believing in Him! Cause all things work for the good for those who are in Christ Jesus! So thankful for all the people He had place in my life, Thankful for those who had help me so much along the way. It is the presence of you guys that make me feel how it is like to be loved and be blessed! Heart full of gratefulness! 2012 was a pretty chaos and blessed year, so looking forward of what more is God gonna do in 2013 of my life! 

A promise that I made in the first day of 2013...
-To have a deeper and closer relationship with this awesome God of mine
-To have a heart for people, really going all out to for each and single one of them, trying to meets all their needs
-Get my relationship right with the people that God had placed in my life. Not to be fearful of anyone
-Made each single day of 2013 a meaningful one! Living for the only one and no one else.
-Be able to control my emotion and not let it control me anymore.

=)

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HOPE OF ALL HEARTS 

Praise in the morning
Praise in the evening
Praise when I'm laughing
Praise when I'm grieving
There will be dancing 
There will be singing

 Upon injustice we will tell of our God

The hope of all hearts
The hope of all hearts is you
Your love never fails
your love never fails

With hope and light
You reign over all
Though my heart may fail
You will always be all the same
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

In darkness,
In trial, my soul shall sing
Of his mercy, and kindness
Our offering of praise
Our God never fails
Our God never fails


Roman 8:28 says "I am sure all things work together for good."
Gonna give praise to God in no matter what circumference I might be facing now. Praise Him when things gone well, give thanks to Him when things go wrong! In my darkness, in my trail, He is always there for me! God love never fails! He even have a great plan for me!
<3 This shall be a post to get me going whenever I feel like giving up... 

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Feel so hopeless, so helpless. There's nothing much I can do to save this family. The trust is not there anymore. Day by day, I feel that we are becoming more and more like strangers. Talking to each other only when necessary... What kind of family is this? I feel so so... I don know. I don like to see either my little brother or my father in this state.
My heart ache every time I reach home. Just to realize how bad this situation had worsen. Seeing my dad blaming himself and worrying about his huge debts every single day. seeing my little brother mugging himself so much in his books, ignoring us whenever we talk to him, keeping everything to himself. All these do hurts and it hurts a lot a lot... Little brother not willing to help daddy cos he doubt that he will use the money to go gamble again.
Dear Lord, I know that you had heard my cries in my heart. Give me the strength, the strength to stay strong for this family despite all the debts and quarrel. Bring me and guild me through these dark period of my life.
Out of love, I am willing to do anything for this broken family of mine.
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast.

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So many things had happen during these past few months. Time really do files, and it is gonna be the end of  2012 soon. Getting out of my comfort zone doing things that I did not expect to do. It is all these situation that I am facing made me have a different prescriptive of life, looking at life in the lens of God. Human are evil, but what lies behind all that is actually hurts and hurts that they had experience in their life that resulted in them becoming who they are now. I know that this is gonna be a tough and long journey, but no matter what I won gave up and lose sight of God ever again. Changes are hard to accept but then it is all these change that make me grow stronger and having more and more breakthrough in my life. Nothing is impossible in Christ!

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Yst is Father's Day! For the first time ever since mum's death, I think yst was the first time we had actually went out tgt as a family go have fun and take family photos. Really had a lot of fun yst wif my dad and my little bro at the zoo. Those memories are jus way way too precious to me. Thanx you Lord! For making such an impact on me and making me treasure them more.

I may not be the best daughter on earth, but I wanna thanx you for all the things you had done for me for the past few years. I know that it is not easy for you to raise two kids up alone. It must be really hard on you! I'm sorry for my stubbornness, sorry for not able yo understand you well, sorry for always taking you for granted. Sorry for not being a good daughter, Or rather I don noe how I should be one. Since young, I don feel love at all. I don noe how it feels to be being loved and don noe how to love someone. I use to hate you alot! Hate you for always making my childhood life a miserable one. All those hurts, sadness and disappointment are simply too much. But now I had learn to look at things in another way. I don blame you at all. Really. There might be lots and lots of things that had happen to me before that you had noe nth of. It was alright. I noe that all those things will only hurt you more. So I would rather keep it deep inside me then to let you noe. I really don wanna you to get hurt. Will try all ways to prevent you from knowing it. Sorry for being selfish abt this. My past that you had not noe of, had not heard before does not really matter anymore. What matters now is the present. Gonna treasure you more. I noe that it is not easy of ou to raise us up. I really hope that you could really give up on gambling and smoking. Really really hope that that day could come.. I love you daddy! No matter what you had done, how unreasonable you are, I would still loved you!

Quote from Teh YiLing: 阳光总在风雨过后！
That was really damn true and it is gonna be my quote for my life! This gurl is jus a small 16 year old gurl that I had met at Rev Chalet! Really touched by all these small conversations and all these sweet people in my life! TYJ! =')

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We are all in this tgt! I am willing to fight for it side by side wif you guys! Let's go Revive 1! We can do this! I wanna have that strong faith in you God! As well as the people around me. Trust is smth that I really need to work on! I can do this!
Thanx God for giving me such a wonderful group of frens. They are not jus my frens they are my family, my sister and brothers, whom will always be there for me no matter what happen! They are the ones whom made me hang on to my believe and faith in Jesus so strongly! The ones whom show me what love is. How it is to love others as well as myself. I will continue to stay strong! I really appreciate every single small actions that you guys had done for me. Every words your had said to me will me engrave in me forever! Thanx for caring and loving me so much like no others will do!

Gonna love everyone, even the unlovable one!

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I'm back from Area Chalet and really wanna thanx God for making it such a awesome one. The 4 days 3 night chalet is simply just too short. From there I had learn that a heart wif good attitude equals to strong character. I wanna be a person wif strong attitude which behaves like a sponge, able to absorb all the good attributes veri fast. And not like a metal, wif does not only not able to absorb water but olso decompose and rust in it.  Really need to learn to treat every human beings good and not to selected people only. VISION is what i need in my life so that i would not be heading nowhere like a headless chicken. My vision is to help those teenagers that are struck in their life to get out of it. After having a vision in mind, i need to stand out and take the risk or else the vision will jus be nothing. To win this battle it is not through wisdom, but through prayer.

All these years, what had I been playing music for? For the others? For myself? There's something more to music. I am gonna change the way how I look at it and not simply play it for the seek of playing and for frame. That will be misusing the beautiful act of music.

Lastly, thanx everyone for the awesome chalet! It not only make me able to get to know more abt Him, i olso have a chance to get to know more abt the kids as well as getting closer wif REVIVE 1! Starting to build trust in God as well as them! TYJ! =)

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Spent the whole afternoon and night out with Angeline and QiuLing in search of QiuLing's dearest Eugene's birthday presents! Haha. This gurl huh, when it come to bf she can be damn sweet de siol. Hehe. Went from sch to Bugis to some Pasar Malan (Night Market).

Had a nice chat with the gurls. Was talking about graduation and I told them that if someone were to give me flowers when I graduate, I would like a sunflower and they readily agree to get me one on the day I graduate. HAHA! They are so sweet! <3

Having mixed feelings now. Apart of me feel like graduate but however another part of me don feel like graduate so fast. Haha. Mao dun de wo. I'm scared and clueless of my future. I don know how will it be like. Where will I be going after I graduate? University? What course? Working? What job? But nevertheless, I shall live my life to Him. I know that He had a plan set ready for me. It is up to me whether I wanna took up His challenge and go wif His plan. No matter where I will land up in the future, I shall leave it all up to Him. I believe that He will show me the way. Cos He is the one who know me the best. So shall not worry so much and just do whatever I can do right now to cooperate wif Him. That is to study hard! No more slacking my day off already! Go KaiQin!

Bought some handmade earrings for my mortal for this week. Estee, hope you like it! =)

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After so long, I am back to this small world of mine. Hehe! These pass few weeks, past few days, I don really remember how I really spent it. I only know that I had indeed making full use of my every single day. Keeping myself busy wif something every single moment. Yup! That's the kind of life that I wanna! kinda enjoying my day and making it to the fullest!

HAPPY HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST LITTLE BROTHER! 
I may not be the best sister in the world, we might have quarreled quite often even about the smallest little thing. You may be so demanding, treating me like your maid. BUT..... No matter what happen, I just wanna you to know that you will always be the one who I really love and the one who I cared and worried the most! Stay happy always and do put that charming smile of yours on your face forever! I love you! You have indeed grow so much within the years. =')

Thanx God for everything in my life now. What more could I expect when you have given more then what I need. Spending more time and more time wif Revive 1 to found out that they are a group of people that never fails to make my heart melt whenever I am wif them. Thank you guys for everything! <3

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HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEIQIANG!~
May you grow shorter and shorter. Haha! =)

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Well, guess what, it is time to be back to school. My year three journey started yst. Timetable is quite slack and I have no lesson on every tues!

Went  for my Dental checkup like finally to check about my bleeding gums. I was told that I still had some baby tooth that haven drop and it were about to drop that's why I had bleeding gums. Polish and took an x-ray of my teeth today. My teeth is still hurting from the polishing till now. =(

Met Estee and Alicia after that at KAP to had our lunch and headed off to JCube for The Perfect Two movie. It was a touching and funny show. It is damn nice, you gonna go catch it yourself then you will know how nice it was.

It is amazing that everyone is being shaped by how ourchildhood. What kind of things you experience or faced when you are young, will actually become who you are now. You will tend to behave from all your bad experiences. Since young, I had not really felt being loved by my father. Or rather there I don feel loved at all. So I have the bad experience of it and it still bother me every now and then. It was because of that I had a mindset that I had to fight for everything that I wanna in life. That include being loved. I know that I had friends that really care and love me but I am not willing to accept it. Cos i had somehow built a barrel between everyone. I just find it hard to accept being loved by someone. Or maybe cos I am use to not being loved. That was the thing that keep me away from everyone. Too much care and concern and I will think that they are fake when they are not.
What happened to you when you are young is just gonna make a huge impact n you life forever. Unless you are willing to get over it and let go.
Can I really get over it and let go? There are just too many many many bad experiences that I need to get over it. All these are just gonna keep haunting me forever and ever unless I let go...

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A break is what i need...


Spent these two days with awesome 3 groups of awesome people!
Went bowling wif Happy Pills at Raffles Town Club yst afternoon. It had been like 2 months since I met them. I was feeling awkward at the beginning but then after that ok liao. Haha. They are still the same old them the troll clique. Saw a group of primary school kids there too. All so small and little carrying a 3 pounds bowling ball like carrying a 3 kg bag of rice. Soooo cute. Imagine them literally throwing the bowling ball down on the play zone. Damn epic! HAHAHA! Rush off to meet the Revive for dinner at JE! Had zhu chao for dinner and off to JCube to laugh at people skate.
Went JCube wif QiuLing just now again. Haha. Purely cos I didn't really explore there yst. We spent hours on these shop name 'These & That". It is a shop that sells unusual stationary that you cannot find it elsewhere. Some more it is damn cheap. Bought some stationary to prepared for school. Was telling QiuLing how I had fall in love wif WeiXuan's new sling bag that I saw him wearing yst. Tried to find but then fail. Never mind,  shall continue hunting for it, It was damn nice. Really.

 

You guys never failed to put a smile on my face. Thanx for the day! =) That was indeed a getaway that I need.

Back to reality, am I still be able to face you tmr? Haiz.

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Witness the spirit of the Bongo Team today. Haha! One word for today shag! But it was worth it.

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HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DA GE! You are not forgotten! Hope you like the celebration that we had for you just now. Although it was just a short surprise that last around 10 mins only, but can see that you guys really enjoyed yourself alot! Spraying snow flake and seeing everyone getting so white is indeed funny! That was really a good laugh. It had been a long time since I really see you guys have so much fun and laugh so crazily already! Growing more and more attached to this group of people. That make me even more harder to leave ba. Work will never be the same without all these nonsense people! Thanx Jay, HanZhen, BoBo and ZheBin for making this surprise such a wonderful one! Special thanx to WeiQiang and Gladys! Without you guys, it will never feel the same anymore! 
DA GE'S SURPRISE BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION SUCCESS!~ =P

I don wanna anything from you. All I ask for is that we can be as close as how we used to be that's all....