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Feel so hopeless, so helpless. There's nothing much I can do to save this family. The trust is not there anymore. Day by day, I feel that we are becoming more and more like strangers. Talking to each other only when necessary... What kind of family is this? I feel so so... I don know. I don like to see either my little brother or my father in this state.
My heart ache every time I reach home. Just to realize how bad this situation had worsen. Seeing my dad blaming himself and worrying about his huge debts every single day. seeing my little brother mugging himself so much in his books, ignoring us whenever we talk to him, keeping everything to himself. All these do hurts and it hurts a lot a lot... Little brother not willing to help daddy cos he doubt that he will use the money to go gamble again.
Dear Lord, I know that you had heard my cries in my heart. Give me the strength, the strength to stay strong for this family despite all the debts and quarrel. Bring me and guild me through these dark period of my life.
Out of love, I am willing to do anything for this broken family of mine.
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast.