Thursday, November 15

320 of 366...


Praise in the morning
Praise in the evening
Praise when I'm laughing
Praise when I'm grieving
There will be dancing 
There will be singing

 Upon injustice we will tell of our God

The hope of all hearts
The hope of all hearts is you
Your love never fails
your love never fails

With hope and light
You reign over all
Though my heart may fail
You will always be all the same
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

In darkness,
In trial, my soul shall sing
Of his mercy, and kindness
Our offering of praise
Our God never fails
Our God never fails

Roman 8:28 says "I am sure all things work together for good."
Gonna give praise to God in no matter what circumference I might be facing now. Praise Him when things gone well, give thanks to Him when things go wrong! In my darkness, in my trail, He is always there for me! God love never fails! He even have a great plan for me!
<3 This shall be a post to get me going whenever I feel like giving up... 

Tuesday, November 13

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Feel so hopeless, so helpless. There's nothing much I can do to save this family. The trust is not there anymore. Day by day, I feel that we are becoming more and more like strangers. Talking to each other only when necessary... What kind of family is this? I feel so so... I don know. I don like to see either my little brother or my father in this state.
My heart ache every time I reach home. Just to realize how bad this situation had worsen. Seeing my dad blaming himself and worrying about his huge debts every single day. seeing my little brother mugging himself so much in his books, ignoring us whenever we talk to him, keeping everything to himself. All these do hurts and it hurts a lot a lot... Little brother not willing to help daddy cos he doubt that he will use the money to go gamble again.
Dear Lord, I know that you had heard my cries in my heart. Give me the strength, the strength to stay strong for this family despite all the debts and quarrel. Bring me and guild me through these dark period of my life.
Out of love, I am willing to do anything for this broken family of mine.
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not boast.

Wednesday, November 7

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So many things had happen during these past few months. Time really do files, and it is gonna be the end of  2012 soon. Getting out of my comfort zone doing things that I did not expect to do. It is all these situation that I am facing made me have a different prescriptive of life, looking at life in the lens of God. Human are evil, but what lies behind all that is actually hurts and hurts that they had experience in their life that resulted in them becoming who they are now. I know that this is gonna be a tough and long journey, but no matter what I won gave up and lose sight of God ever again. Changes are hard to accept but then it is all these change that make me grow stronger and having more and more breakthrough in my life. Nothing is impossible in Christ!

Monday, June 18

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Yst is Father's Day! For the first time ever since mum's death, I think yst was the first time we had actually went out tgt as a family go have fun and take family photos. Really had a lot of fun yst wif my dad and my little bro at the zoo. Those memories are jus way way too precious to me. Thanx you Lord! For making such an impact on me and making me treasure them more.

I may not be the best daughter on earth, but I wanna thanx you for all the things you had done for me for the past few years. I know that it is not easy for you to raise two kids up alone. It must be really hard on you! I'm sorry for my stubbornness, sorry for not able yo understand you well, sorry for always taking you for granted. Sorry for not being a good daughter, Or rather I don noe how I should be one. Since young, I don feel love at all. I don noe how it feels to be being loved and don noe how to love someone. I use to hate you alot! Hate you for always making my childhood life a miserable one. All those hurts, sadness and disappointment are simply too much. But now I had learn to look at things in another way. I don blame you at all. Really. There might be lots and lots of things that had happen to me before that you had noe nth of. It was alright. I noe that all those things will only hurt you more. So I would rather keep it deep inside me then to let you noe. I really don wanna you to get hurt. Will try all ways to prevent you from knowing it. Sorry for being selfish abt this. My past that you had not noe of, had not heard before does not really matter anymore. What matters now is the present. Gonna treasure you more. I noe that it is not easy of ou to raise us up. I really hope that you could really give up on gambling and smoking. Really really hope that that day could come.. I love you daddy! No matter what you had done, how unreasonable you are, I would still loved you!

Quote from Teh YiLing: 阳光总在风雨过后!
That was really damn true and it is gonna be my quote for my life! This gurl is jus a small 16 year old gurl that I had met at Rev Chalet! Really touched by all these small conversations and all these sweet people in my life! TYJ! =')

Saturday, June 16

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We are all in this tgt! I am willing to fight for it side by side wif you guys! Let's go Revive 1! We can do this! I wanna have that strong faith in you God! As well as the people around me. Trust is smth that I really need to work on! I can do this!
Thanx God for giving me such a wonderful group of frens. They are not jus my frens they are my family, my sister and brothers, whom will always be there for me no matter what happen! They are the ones whom made me hang on to my believe and faith in Jesus so strongly! The ones whom show me what love is. How it is to love others as well as myself. I will continue to stay strong! I really appreciate every single small actions that you guys had done for me. Every words your had said to me will me engrave in me forever! Thanx for caring and loving me so much like no others will do!

Gonna love everyone, even the unlovable one!

Thursday, June 14

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I'm back from Area Chalet and really wanna thanx God for making it such a awesome one. The 4 days 3 night chalet is simply just too short. From there I had learn that a heart wif good attitude equals to strong character. I wanna be a person wif strong attitude which behaves like a sponge, able to absorb all the good attributes veri fast. And not like a metal, wif does not only not able to absorb water but olso decompose and rust in it.  Really need to learn to treat every human beings good and not to selected people only. VISION is what i need in my life so that i would not be heading nowhere like a headless chicken. My vision is to help those teenagers that are struck in their life to get out of it. After having a vision in mind, i need to stand out and take the risk or else the vision will jus be nothing. To win this battle it is not through wisdom, but through prayer.

All these years, what had I been playing music for? For the others? For myself? There's something more to music. I am gonna change the way how I look at it and not simply play it for the seek of playing and for frame. That will be misusing the beautiful act of music.

Lastly, thanx everyone for the awesome chalet! It not only make me able to get to know more abt Him, i olso have a chance to get to know more abt the kids as well as getting closer wif REVIVE 1! Starting to build trust in God as well as them! TYJ! =)

Wednesday, May 23

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Spent the whole afternoon and night out with Angeline and QiuLing in search of QiuLing's dearest Eugene's birthday presents! Haha. This gurl huh, when it come to bf she can be damn sweet de siol. Hehe. Went from sch to Bugis to some Pasar Malan (Night Market).

Had a nice chat with the gurls. Was talking about graduation and I told them that if someone were to give me flowers when I graduate, I would like a sunflower and they readily agree to get me one on the day I graduate. HAHA! They are so sweet! <3

Having mixed feelings now. Apart of me feel like graduate but however another part of me don feel like graduate so fast. Haha. Mao dun de wo. I'm scared and clueless of my future. I don know how will it be like. Where will I be going after I graduate? University? What course? Working? What job? But nevertheless, I shall live my life to Him. I know that He had a plan set ready for me. It is up to me whether I wanna took up His challenge and go wif His plan. No matter where I will land up in the future, I shall leave it all up to Him. I believe that He will show me the way. Cos He is the one who know me the best. So shall not worry so much and just do whatever I can do right now to cooperate wif Him. That is to study hard! No more slacking my day off already! Go KaiQin!

Bought some handmade earrings for my mortal for this week. Estee, hope you like it! =)

Sunday, May 20

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After so long, I am back to this small world of mine. Hehe! These pass few weeks, past few days, I don really remember how I really spent it. I only know that I had indeed making full use of my every single day. Keeping myself busy wif something every single moment. Yup! That's the kind of life that I wanna! kinda enjoying my day and making it to the fullest!

I may not be the best sister in the world, we might have quarreled quite often even about the smallest little thing. You may be so demanding, treating me like your maid. BUT..... No matter what happen, I just wanna you to know that you will always be the one who I really love and the one who I cared and worried the most! Stay happy always and do put that charming smile of yours on your face forever! I love you! You have indeed grow so much within the years. =')

Thanx God for everything in my life now. What more could I expect when you have given more then what I need. Spending more time and more time wif Revive 1 to found out that they are a group of people that never fails to make my heart melt whenever I am wif them. Thank you guys for everything! <3

Monday, April 30

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May you grow shorter and shorter. Haha! =)

Tuesday, April 17

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Well, guess what, it is time to be back to school. My year three journey started yst. Timetable is quite slack and I have no lesson on every tues!

Went  for my Dental checkup like finally to check about my bleeding gums. I was told that I still had some baby tooth that haven drop and it were about to drop that's why I had bleeding gums. Polish and took an x-ray of my teeth today. My teeth is still hurting from the polishing till now. =(

Met Estee and Alicia after that at KAP to had our lunch and headed off to JCube for The Perfect Two movie. It was a touching and funny show. It is damn nice, you gonna go catch it yourself then you will know how nice it was.

It is amazing that everyone is being shaped by how ourchildhood. What kind of things you experience or faced when you are young, will actually become who you are now. You will tend to behave from all your bad experiences. Since young, I had not really felt being loved by my father. Or rather there I don feel loved at all. So I have the bad experience of it and it still bother me every now and then. It was because of that I had a mindset that I had to fight for everything that I wanna in life. That include being loved. I know that I had friends that really care and love me but I am not willing to accept it. Cos i had somehow built a barrel between everyone. I just find it hard to accept being loved by someone. Or maybe cos I am use to not being loved. That was the thing that keep me away from everyone. Too much care and concern and I will think that they are fake when they are not.
What happened to you when you are young is just gonna make a huge impact n you life forever. Unless you are willing to get over it and let go.
Can I really get over it and let go? There are just too many many many bad experiences that I need to get over it. All these are just gonna keep haunting me forever and ever unless I let go...

Thursday, April 12

Page 103 of 366...
A break is what i need...

Spent these two days with awesome 3 groups of awesome people!
Went bowling wif Happy Pills at Raffles Town Club yst afternoon. It had been like 2 months since I met them. I was feeling awkward at the beginning but then after that ok liao. Haha. They are still the same old them the troll clique. Saw a group of primary school kids there too. All so small and little carrying a 3 pounds bowling ball like carrying a 3 kg bag of rice. Soooo cute. Imagine them literally throwing the bowling ball down on the play zone. Damn epic! HAHAHA! Rush off to meet the Revive for dinner at JE! Had zhu chao for dinner and off to JCube to laugh at people skate.
Went JCube wif QiuLing just now again. Haha. Purely cos I didn't really explore there yst. We spent hours on these shop name 'These & That". It is a shop that sells unusual stationary that you cannot find it elsewhere. Some more it is damn cheap. Bought some stationary to prepared for school. Was telling QiuLing how I had fall in love wif WeiXuan's new sling bag that I saw him wearing yst. Tried to find but then fail. Never mind,  shall continue hunting for it, It was damn nice. Really.

You guys never failed to put a smile on my face. Thanx for the day! =) That was indeed a getaway that I need.

Back to reality, am I still be able to face you tmr? Haiz.

Monday, April 9

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Witness the spirit of the Bongo Team today. Haha! One word for today shag! But it was worth it.

Sunday, April 8

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HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DA GE! You are not forgotten! Hope you like the celebration that we had for you just now. Although it was just a short surprise that last around 10 mins only, but can see that you guys really enjoyed yourself alot! Spraying snow flake and seeing everyone getting so white is indeed funny! That was really a good laugh. It had been a long time since I really see you guys have so much fun and laugh so crazily already! Growing more and more attached to this group of people. That make me even more harder to leave ba. Work will never be the same without all these nonsense people! Thanx Jay, HanZhen, BoBo and ZheBin for making this surprise such a wonderful one! Special thanx to WeiQiang and Gladys! Without you guys, it will never feel the same anymore! 

I don wanna anything from you. All I ask for is that we can be as close as how we used to be that's all....

Tuesday, April 3

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WHY AM I EVEN CRYING NOW?! Shit myself. Stop crying liao KaiQin...

Today is Free Cone Day! Is the day whereby Ben & Jerry's is giving out free ice cream to each and every single soul on earth who queue for it an ice cream. It olso acts as a fund raising day whereby you can actually receive free ice cream by just donating at your own comfort. But how many of you actually remember to not only collect the ice cream and make some donations? This is my first time involved in this kind of thingy.It was indeed tiring. 3 hours of scooping non stop ice cream is indeed a tough job. However, the joy of giving is something that I had learn today. That was indeed am unforgettable experience. A big thanks to each and every single one of you scooper who make this day such a wonderful one. =)

Guess I had finally break down after receiving your texts just now. Each and single one of it is just simply so hurtful. I was just too naive to actually think that I mean something but to find out that I was wrong. Bind by you to even see the truth. Stay strong KaiQin.

Sunday, April 1

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Maybe QiuLing was right after all, I cared too much for him already. But so what if I really do like him?

Friday, March 30

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Wake up, wash up, go to BirdPark, work, meet up with random people, go home, sleep and the whole thing repeat itself again... This had been my daily routine for the past few weeks. Had been working almost everyday. I just need to keep myself busy with things, busy so that I won have time to allow myself to think of you, won have time to think so much. I kinda like the busy routine I had now but on the other hand, I had been neglecting and rejecting lots and lots of appointment, outings from my friend. I cannot help but feel really bad about it. I'm really really very sorry to all those friends of mine that keep wanting to meetup with me and which I had reject or cannot make it countless time but still never give up on me. I am really glad that I have you guys! However, I need a break. Sorry for ignoring you guys. The reason why I choose to keep working is not bcos of money, or rather I am trying to escape from the reality. I need time to settle my feelings. Don wanna you guys to see how depress, how sad, how shag I am now. I just don wanna you guys to be worried about me. I might have disappear for some time, but rest assured that I will be back with you guys one day de! Currently in the state of going to breakdown any moment and I really don wish to make your worry for me. 

I know that no matter how hard I try, we are just not gonna be like how we used to be already. I may have admit defeat but then I am not gonna give up no matter what. Giving in and not asking for any returns at all.

Once again, sorry for all those people who cares about me but I am also grateful to have you guys. 

Tuesday, March 27

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Had a small farewell dinner for BaiYang at Jurong Safari just now after work. That was the last meal that I am really gonna have with her. Really gonna miss her when she when back to China. However, that was the happiest dinner I had ever had with the group of them. Gladys, BaiYang, Auntie Julie, Auntie PohLan, Auntie Alice, Shaq, WeiQiang, Jay, Faiz, BoBo, Hafiz, YinKang, Hafiz's wife and ZheBin. That was indeed an unforgettable dinner. A dinner that I will remember for life. =)

Glad that most of the people like the scrapbook that I had do for BaiYang as her farewell gift. It consists of photos of people that once work with her for these 2 years in Bongo and also wishes that each and everyone of them wanna say to them. She said that that was the best gift that she had ever received in her whole life and I almost cried when she said that. Haha. Really really happy that she actually liked it. But among all the photos that I had printed for her, I liked this the most. A candid yet natural shot. I took this during the Ubin trip without them noticing. OOPS! =/

Wanna give a BIG BIG THANX to everyone especially Gladys for making it a successful one! Without you guys, It will be nothing. THANK YOU GUYS!~

Sunday, March 25

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Birthdays are meant to be celebrated and being remembered. I shall try to celebrate everyone's birthday no matter who you are.

Photos from the Birthday Party earlier on this afternoon.  

You are not being forgotten! =) This was taken like 2 years ago? Time files...

It had been a long long time since I really had a good chat with you. Just you and me only. Really missed those time where we always talk so much crap and you are always full of nonsense. Really enjoyed myself just now although it is only for a short moment only. No matter how far and distance you are from me, I will still work very very hard to let us be like how we used to be de. Trust me. I really miss those time...

Saturday, March 24

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Guess what, I finally went back to YTCCCO after disappearing from there for so long! Hehe. It will always be a place that I don feel unfamiliar to  no matter how long I may not have went back. Feeling super exhausted from all the practices and performance earlier on. It had been such a long time since I feel so shag, however It is all worth it. I love YTCCCO!

Thursday, March 22

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Met Angeline after work to accompany her had her passport photo taken. That was when I realize how much I really do miss Eemin. 

It has been ages since I last saw her, ages since we last text and even ages since we last talk. I miss her, but miss is not a strong enough word to be use. No matter how far apart I am from you I will still wanna keep up to date to your things, still care about you like how I use to. 

Why is it that every time at the mention of your name, I will tend to feel hurt. I know that things are not going to be like how it is used to be like anymore. Sometimes, I just wish to see you but whenever I see you, I suddenly feeling like avoiding you. No matter what is gonna happen to us in the future, I will always be there for you whenever you need me. I promise you that. No matter how much hurt you had implemented in me, I feel that it is hard for me to let go of someone whom I really treasure very very much. Loved you for a thousand years...

Wednesday, March 21

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Had a good time packing, rearranging all the Birthday Party thingy with JunYi at work today. That was what made me realize that Ros and the previous group had actually had a hard time planning and making the games for the kids last time. Dug out lots of rubbish as well as treasure today. Can really feel the time and effort they had put inside it. It is really a pity that all of these things are not being put into use now. That make me made up my mind that I am gonna make sure that for the other Birthday Party that I will be hosting will be a successful one. Won let all their efforts go down to drain.

Had a short meetup with QiuLing and Angeline after work. Walk home with Angeline and she started to talk about our future. Seriously for now I cannot picture my future, I don know what will be my full time job in the future. But I doubt I will leave Bird Park at the moment as that was the job that I get attach to now. At least I am working at different job scope at different day. Sometime, I will be at the counter, anot I will be at the kitchen, anot I will be at Ben & Jerry or else I will be hosting Birthday Party. I am not trying to overwork myself or what. I just don like stay at home the whole day. Wanna make myself feel useful and not so worthless. Working is not a chore to me, instead it is something that can make me feel occupied and stop me from thinking too much. 

You shall be my biggest regrets. But I am not gonna let us stay like that forever.

Tuesday, March 20

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I do have a couple of really really great and awesome friends. But who will be the ones who will be there if I were to break down one day. I might be a strong girl but I olso have my weak moments. Just wondering.

Monday, March 19

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For the past 19 years I had never ever felt any love from you. To me, home is just a place for me to sleep that all. From young, I had lived in a incomplete family. Use to keeping everything to myself, learn to hide my feelings well, use to getting hurt and being numb to it already. Love is just a word that sound so unfamiliar to me. i don feel love from you or anyone else. 

No matter how unreasonable you are, no matter how controlling you are, no matter how much you do not show your love for me, no matter how much you like to scold and beat me for no reason. You will always be my Daddy! The one whom bought me to this world. The one whom taught me that I had to fight for whatever I wanna. The one whom I know you care but don know how to express it. The one who taught me how imperfect this life could be. For the past few years, I may have been hurt, may have lie to you, may have don anything behind your back, I do all these is just that I don wish to see you get hurt in anyway. 

No matter what you do, no matter how bad you are, you will always and forever be my Daddy! These few years you really do had a hard time providing for us.
My only wish for you is that you will stay happy and not leave us just like how Mummy use to years ago. I really cannot afford to lose you also!

Saturday, March 17

Page 77 of 366...
Met WanYing in the afternoon for a while then to realize that I do really miss her. Then off to get the stuff for my evil plan for the staff meeting. Wahahahaha! Had a good time shopping for all these stuff then off to BirdPark.

Meeting was ok but then all of them were just too shag so we decided to cancel the evil plan. Was a bit disappointed but then it was alright. I had a good laugh at them blowing the candle that cannot be blown. Hehe. Gonna be more serious in work next time already but then you can also have fun by being serious.

No one is gonna stay in your life forever, that's why "separation" this word exist. But I jus don like the feeling of it...

Thursday, March 15

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Got back my results for last semester. Although i did very very badly for this semester, I am not going to give up just like that. Cos I kinda expected and not expected it. No matter what the result is, it is over. Lesson learn that I should keep myself away from all the distraction and not anyhow think before exams. Easier say then done. Next semester and next next semester will definitely be better! What's there to worry when I had QiuLing and Aaron there to make sure I get good results and preventing me from doing all the foolish thing. Hehe. 靠你们了!=) 

I care too much already. Seriously!

Wednesday, March 14

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Yesterday, I had the biggest fall ever! LOL! 

Went to Pulau Ubin wifth Shaq and WeiQiang. Damn excited and cos that was the first time we all when there. The feeling of excited and scared overwhelm us. I was damn scared that we might lost our way and get lost there. Haha! A few days before QiuLing and JiaJia was telling me how dangerous it was there and how many people actually lose their life there. Thinking of what they told me now I still think that we are quite lucky. Hehe.

Pulau Ubin is actually a very adventurous place for those who like challenge. You don know what you will be expecting of and see at the very next moment. We took the boat from the Changi Jetty all the way there. That was my first time taking the boat. LOL! 

We cycled for a few hours then I had my first fall at the down slope. It was damn steep and I had no time to brake and CRASH! I fly off my bike and hit right smack on the road. That was seriously damn pain siol! Blood keep oozing out from my left kneecap and my left elbow. The best thing is that my shorts actually torn apart! That was when Shaq and WeiQiang rush down and see what happen. I stand up and started laughing non stop. It was damn pain but I laugh and laugh and laugh at myself instead of crying. wash the wounds, stop the blood, bandaged it and we continue cycling.

Cycled and walked and talking crap along the way, when I had my second fall at the down slope again. LOL! What's wrong is with me? I fall right smack on the same wounds as the first fall. I laugh even more this time round. Wash the wound, stop the blood, bandaged it once again and continue our journey. Saw wild boar and lots of interesting creature in the wild nature. 

On the journey back to the Change jetty, Shaq suddenly got a very bad seasickness. We took bus from Changi Village all the way to Woodlands to send her home. Luckily during the long long bus ride, she slept and feel much much better after that. Went to had dinner at Woodlands and took the bus with WeiQiang all the way back home. 

Went home with small cuts, bruises here and there, wounds on my left elbow and left kneecap and a sprain right hand. Despite all these, yesterday was indeed a fun and tiring day! Must go there next time! Don mind falling again.  =)

After every fall, be strong, stand up and laugh it off. How many times can I actually do it? 

I'm so so so sorry for that incident to happen. I didn't expect him to react like that and confront you. Luckily I control and didn't tell him everything anot the matter might have worsen. You must be broken inside although you deny it. What can I do now? Haiz.

Tuesday, March 13

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The one who hurts you the most is the one whom you care the most...

I broke a total of 2 glasses at work today. How affected and distracted I am about it?  Haiz. Can someone tell me what can I do? Feel lost. I wish that I don care. But in fact I really do care alot. I tried to avoid and ignore but I can't help it.

Monday, March 12

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I love you
I need you
Though my world may fall
I will never give up on you

My savior
My closest friend
I will worship you till the very end  


Saturday, March 10

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Hosting a Birthday Party was not that easy as it seems after all. Hosting my first ever Birthday Party today and I am already half dead. Haha. But this is just the beginning, cos I starting to like Birthday Party even more now. Hehe. The party just now can considered as a successful one ba. Even through there might be some flaws here and there but it ended beautifully. Really need to thanks YinKang, BaiYang and Auntie Julie who had help me alot along the way, Without them it might not be that successful. 你们辛苦了! 

Saw the funny side of YinKang today. LOL! He and BaiYang literally made me rolling on the floor laughing away. No matter how tired I am, they had somehow manage to took it away. This might be my last party with you guys. Will really miss today.

Back to Bongo when Muzaffar started running to me and he said, "KaiQin looking for you please call her back!" I stare at him and he repeat the same thing which made me started laughing again. Actually he wanna say Hidayah looking for me then don noe why he suddenly said that I looking for myself. 

Why is it that you can cause such a huge impact on me? The more I care the more hurt I am. You can somehow made my laughing day become a moody one without you doing anything at all. Hate this feelings. ARGH!

Tuesday, February 28

PAGE 60 of 366...

Exams ended like a one week ago and had been working almost everyday. At least that keep me busy and stop me for thinking about it for that moment only. Till now I still can't seems to get over it, will tend to think about it whenever I am alone. That hurts really alot alot, even till now. Can there be a complete cure to it? I hate this feeling and don like the person whom I am now. Too much mix feelings, hurt, wounded and can't seems to focus on the things that I set for myself.

Other then that, work was getting more and more interesting. Everyday I get to experience different things, get to face different challenge. I get to know the good and evil side of all humans, be more understanding and get to know why people tends to do things this way. All these contribute a lot to my life experiences.  

I know that there is no way I can feel hurt and sad cos of that incident cos it had left a huge impact on me. But that shall add as a reminder and lesson for me ba... 

Wednesday, February 15

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Spent my valentine with the animals! Hehe, Damn shag but it was damn fun after all. Went to the zoo with MinYi, SiewLin and JunYi in the morning and went back to birdpark to help out bqt for their Valentine dinner event at night! Took lots of photos and had lots of inside jokes. Hehe. The Valentine dinner that they had in birdpark is actually to have a dinner wif the PENGUINS! They are indeed beautiful animals, so fat and cute! That was the first time I had actually come into so close contact wif it! <3 

Somehow came into a realization that I rather have a some very very close guy friend then a boyfriend now. LOL! That was a random thought from yst. Hehe.

How blurr can I be to actually didn't realize that my contacts lens is tore and still continue wearing it and lost my Ezlink card! T.T  However, really thanks God that there no infection in my eye and I just receive a call from my granny that I had actually left it at her hse! Hehe! =P

Wednesday, February 8

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So so much things had happened recently. But that make me wonder and ponder more about myself. Just what kind of person am I to the people around me? This week is filled with disappointment, hurt, sad, laughter and anger. However, everything is over liao, I hope so? =/

Realize that I had a group of friends or rather many people who are just too overly concern about me. Of cos, there's always a pros and cons to everything. You know who you are, just wanna say I feel very very blessed to have you guys! Really appreciated the things your had done for me even to the extreme extent.

Note to myself:
Stop thinking and fear for the things that is gonna or might not happen. Find back my determination and get things that done. Worrying is not gonna take me anywhere. GET STARTED! =D

Thursday, February 2

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I had been lying if I said that I am alright. I am alright when I am with my friends. However, it is a different case when I am alone. My mind just start to go wild. thinking of things that I should not be thinking, Feeling damn down these few weeks. That was just too much info and everything just come and right smack on me. All these was too sudden. The thought of it just make me realize that everything was just nothing but lies. KaiQin, you had cried enough for these pass few days already. Accept it, get over it and move on! Stop letting these thoughts hurt you and affect you in anyway anymore! Just gonna stay strong!
In any case, I will still be there whenever you need me and our friendship won't be ruin because of that.

Saturday, January 28

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This week passed by with random chat with Dennis and Sharon at the library, poker at QiuLing's house with Angeline, dinner with Aaron and Nicole, pool with Aaron, Nicole and WeiXuan and hosting two Birthday party...
Spent my week catching up with all my lovelies and digging more and more secrets from them. Wahahahax! =P
Had so much fun this week. At least it make me feel that I am a step more closer with them.
Time to get back to studies already. No more playing for the moment as exams are coming really really soon. Time to be serious and get down to work already.

Awwww. I'm so in love with kids! Hehe.

Monday, January 23

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Finding life more and more meaningless. Haiz. I don know why. Need to find some meaning and goal. Or not I will be like wasting my life away. The feeling is like you are doing something, but then you have no idea what for you are doing it. Doing things jus for the sake of doing and does not feel satisfied at all. No mood for anything, Something is missing but then I have no idea what is it, Really need to find the missing pieces. Don wanna spend my life being so moodless every single day.


Thursday, January 19

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Days passed with Shaun trying to match make me with one his random friend, teaching Nicole EM3, WeiXuan causing me to lose my bet with Nicole, dinner with the cute couple, QiuLing and Eugene. These are the moments that make me laugh so much. LOL.

Thanx Nicole for making me realize so much plus points about him! Hehe. It is time you really get out of your on and off relationship. Find someone who truly worth you, one who is able to bring you out of your past and lead you into the future, one who is able to take you out of from that curse if your life. It has been a long time since I saw you happy. Being really happy. Wanna see the beautiful smile of you once again.

QiuLing and Eugene really make such a cute couple. So happy for the both of them. Hope that they could really last anot it will be a pity. Eugene is just the perfect one for this beloved gurl of mine.

Someone asked me would I really be happy if the guy that I loved is tgt with another gurl. Of course i would! If that's the thing that could be able to put a smile on his face and make his life a beautiful one, why not? I may like him, but I'm not gonna let you know. Satisfied with our relationship now.
Loved you for a thousands years~

Thursday, January 12

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Woke up wif 10 plus text messages. The moment I reached class, WeiXuan and Shaun was like keep wishing me Happy Birthday non stop the moment they saw me. Three hours break was spent laughing at two retards playing 'Badminton' in the library! LOL! Shaun and WeiXuan was like playing 'Badminton' using ShwuBoon's stationary, her calculator cover, calculator and eraser! poor ShwuBoon cannot concentrate studying for her retest cos there was like two silly boy who never fail to hit her wif their 'shuttlecock' accidentally. Can you imagine that? That was indeed an epic moment! Hahahhaha! Lunch wif my Happy Pills at some random place sitting on the floor eating our da bao food! So cute! Haha.

Surprise Birthday celebration from QiuLing, Angeline and JiaJia yesterday resulting in me not having any dinner yesterday! Hehe, Got another one from the REVIVE and Nicole!

Ended with CO training at Ngee Ann.

I don wanna anything grand, no need anything huge. Had the most simplest, sweetest and awesome Birthday today! A BIG THANX to every single one of you guys who wishes me on FB, Twitter, Whatapps, msges and even face to face. Really appreciate it alot! All these wishes shall be the best gift that i had ever received! Cos it represents that you guys had me in your heart and actually remember my birthday. Super super touched! I feel so blessed and loved by your! Really really thanx alot! <3

I made the same wish for every candles i had blown. What more could i have ask despite having you guys such awesome people in my life!  =')


Monday, January 9

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Today is the release of the O'levels result! So damn scared for my my little brother. In the end he score quite well with a score of L1R4 16 marks, The only bad thing is that he got D7 for his English paper. English is indeed a killer paper for him. Overall, I'm proud of him! ^^

No matter where you are gng, what choices you are gonna make, jus rmb that you will always be the one who i love and care for the most. Olso the one that i worried abt the most. You will always be my dear dear little brother! <3

Saturday, January 7

There's a beauty that lies inside each and single one of you...

Tuesday, January 3

Memories of 2011!

2011 is a great year, but 2012 is gonna be a more awesome year wif you guys staying by my side! 
*not forgetting all the others whom i never get the chance to take photo wif. =)

Resolution for 2012 is to not be so lazy anymore, no more procrastinating! Hehe!